At one point, you have experienced having a miscommunication with someone. It could be your boss, your employee, your client, your friend or family. Whoever it is - we all know how it goes.
Someone says something or even does something and it doesn’t sit right with you.
You dismiss it and move along.
Little by little, resentment builds up.
It grows bigger and bigger until it feels like you’re about to burst.
What do you do when this happens?
1. Reflect
Spend some time thinking about how you’re feeling. Write it down. Ask yourself why. When you get an answer, ask another why and another why until you become so uncomfortable with asking yourself why. This is how you get to the bottom of what’s really bothering you.
Most of the time, recent events are just triggers. There’s always something to unearth.
2. Book a Call and Set the Agenda
Here’s something that I learned from a former (and awesome) coach. You can’t just call-up someone and start babbling away with your rants and feelings. The person on the other end of the conversation must be in a place and space where they are ready to listen. If you just suddenly pour your heart out, chances are, they’re not ready to receive feedback and they’d feel attacked.
Don’t be lazy and selfish. Schedule a call and let the person know what the call would be about.
3. Prepare for the Call
Just like with any meeting, you need to have a guide of what it is that you want to say or address. This will help you address everything that you need to address and not lose track of your thoughts.
4. Think of Solutions
You can’t just rant away. For a feedback call to be productive, you both would need to come to an intersection. What can the other person do to make it better? What can you do to make it better? You can’t just put all the problems on the table and expect the other person to pick everything up and clean it up. No. You both have to work it out together.
5. Be Ready to Listen
Most of the time, miscommunication happens because what you understood is different from what the other person wanted to convey. Once you’ve laid down all your cards, give the other person a chance to clear the air. This isn’t a monologue. It’s a dialogue. So be prepared to see things the way they perceive it - aka see it from their perspective too.
This may seem daunting but it’ll be worth it. Nothing can be resolved if you don’t speak up. You can’t blame the other person for not changing anything if you can’t even bring yourself to have a proper conversation. That’s on you.
C’mon, no one can read anyone’s mind.
At least, not yet.
